One of the comedians who helped me at the beginning was a fellow Chicagoan named Jimmy Pardo. Here he is in a really funny piece from Conan, where he also works as the warm up comic for every episode they shoot.
We see each…
This is a show I’m hosting, made a flyer for, taking tickets at, and stirring nacho cheese for the stoned friends of the comedians who’ll be attending. You should go to it?
One time I was hitchhiking and this guy who gave me a ride said, “I’ll give you twenty dollars if you let me blow you”. I didn’t let him blow me, but the fact that he used the word “let” flattered me way more than the offer of financial compensation. I’ve never been with a girl who said, “Hey, do you think it would be possible for me to please suck your dick? I want to cherish it in my mouth with some reverence and respect.”
According to some of our well-informed sources (Yes, we do have sources. We’re a bureau for goodness sake), we have a list of who will be taping half hour stand-up specials for Comedy Central this year and, looking over the names, we’re going to go ahead and say all of it is fully Comedy Bureau approved.
JANUARY 1973 - THE GEORGE CARLIN TALK SHOW - LOST PILOT
For the last several years, the only thing I’ve really cared about is doing comedy (stand up, improv, whatever) There is nothing that makes me happier than doing it.
I look like a cat burglar in this picture, but it’s the only one I could find of me smiling.
That being said, it’s amazing…
GEORGE CARLIN’S TELEVISION DEBUT - BURNS AND CARLIN ON PLAYBOY’S PENTHOUSE, 1961/1962
|—||Alan Watts (via biscodeja-vu)|
Bill Murray on Gilda Radner:
“Gilda got married and went away. None of us saw her anymore. There was one good thing: Laraine had a party one night, a great party at her house. And I ended up being the disk jockey. She just had forty-fives, and not that many, so you really had to work the music end of it. There was a collection of like the funniest people in the world at this party. Somehow Sam Kinison sticks in my brain. The whole Monty Python group was there, most of us from the show, a lot of other funny people, and Gilda. Gilda showed up and she’d already had cancer and gone into remission and then had it again, I guess. Anyway she was slim. We hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she started doing, “I’ve got to go,” and she was just going to leave, and I was like, “Going to leave?” It felt like she was going to really leave forever.
So we started carrying her around, in a way that we could only do with her. We carried her up and down the stairs, around the house, repeatedly, for a long time, until I was exhausted. Then Danny did it for a while. Then I did it again. We just kept carrying her; we did it in teams. We kept carrying her around, but like upside down, every which way—over your shoulder and under your arm, carrying her like luggage. And that went on for more than an hour—maybe an hour and a half—just carrying her around and saying, “She’s leaving! This could be it! Now come on, this could be the last time we see her. Gilda’s leaving, and remember that she was very sick—hello?”
We worked all aspects of it, but it started with just, “She’s leaving, I don’t know if you’ve said good-bye to her.” And we said good-bye to the same people ten, twenty times, you know.
And because these people were really funny, every person we’d drag her up to would just do like five minutes on her, with Gilda upside down in this sort of tortured position, which she absolutely loved. She was laughing so hard we could have lost her right then and there.
It was just one of the best parties I’ve ever been to in my life. I’ll always remember it. It was the last time I saw her.”
A short interview with comedian, Maria Bamford
conducted by Kyle Dowling
THE BELIEVER: You’re very open about the difficult times in your own past. Depression, mental illness, insecurity.
MARIA BAMFORD: Yeah. A mental health issue for me is that my whole life I’ve been bipolar. Sometimes I didn’t realize it. I’ve been hospitalized for that and wow—at least for me—it’s really embarrassing. There’s a lot of shame in that and generally I have to keep telling myself it’s just a health issue. It’s not like I made it happen. And like any other health condition I need to go to the doctor. I need to regulate my meds. I need to pay more attention to diet and exercise and getting support around the illness. I think those issues are like any other but I know in telling certain friends about it some wouldn’t want to visit me at the psychiatric hospital. It’s so different than somebody getting a hip replacement where it’s, ‘We’re getting you balloons and a teddy bear!’ And, you know, I had some friends that react that way. ‘We’re going to get you balloons! But we’re going to take the ribbons off the balloons because… you know!’
BLVR: But with everything that you just mentioned, somehow it manifested itself in comedy. It didn’t go down the road of “poor me.” You decided to make light of it. How did you make that decision?
MB: I don’t think it was a conscious thing. I think in the moment it’s a little hard to talk about it. For me, it takes at least a minute to have a sense of humor about things, at least 60 seconds.
BLVR: Is there a certain topic you’d like to cover in your act but you just can’t seem to figure out how?
MB: Yeah. My beloved dog Blossom who I had for 12 years. I killed her by accident. I removed a ramp that goes from my house to the backyard. It was purely out of laziness. I just didn’t want my other dog to get inside and trip over the garbage can. It was thoughtlessness and being high on caffeine and just not thinking. I moved the ramp and she was an older dog. So she fell and died.
BLVR: Oh my god. I’m sorry to hear that.
MB: It’s a real bummer and there’s not really anything funny to say about it so far. But I’ve really judged people who have done those sorts of things. I’ve heard of people leaving an infant in the car, being distracted and the child dying. I would think, “You’re ridiculous!’ And this isn’t a child. I don’t want to say that a dog is a child, but it’s the same behavior - being out of it. I haven’t been able to talk about it without crying. Unless I do some motivation speaking and break into some Irish ballads I don’t think I’ll be talking about it soon. She was a big part of my act. She was in all these videos I did. So I don’t know if I’m going to do it. But one thing I did think of, had Blossom done the same thing—killed me by accident—I know she would’ve eaten me within 24 hours, once the tissue started breaking down. I heard this story, this one guy died in his apartment and his pugs ate him.
BLVR: The pugs ate his body?
MB: Yep, yep. That’s what pugs do. They love to eat. They just loved him so much. That’s awful. Sorry. But I do want to talk about it. I was horrified and still am. I Googled I killed my pet by accident.
BLVR: In a weird way it goes back to the ‘you’re not the only one’ thing. You’re not alone.
MB: Yeah! And I was relieved, thinking, ‘Okay, I’d forgive that person. That person really loves animals and is still living their life.’ I’ve tried to change as a result of it. I’ve lowered the caffeine and I’m trying to eat better so I’m not running on doughnuts and maybe doing one thing at a time instead of seven. But clearly there’s nothing funny about it yet.
BLVR: Do you find it easy to slow down?
MB: No, no. I do not find that easy at all.